JoCo Cruise Wiki

Note: Always in progress.

A superscript as been run throughout this wiki to link previous instances of this term to this entry. It will not be used in any future articles.

Email from The Home Office:

Subject: JoCo Cruise Community Nickname

After our 2020 cruise, we solicited feedback from the JoCo Cruise community regarding JoCo Cruise’s “Sea Monkey” nickname, in light of the troubling history of “monkey” as a racial slur. We thank the hundreds of community members who shared their feedback.

Based on this feedback and internal discussions, the JoCo Cruise Management has decided to no longer use “Sea Monkey” and other monkey-themed nicknames when referring to JoCo Cruise community members going forward. Regardless of their origin or intent, these names hold hurtful racially-charged connotations for many in our community. After considering all the feedback and consulting with a diverse range of people, we’ve concluded that to ignore this issue would prevent JoCo Cruise from being a safe and welcoming space for all attendees.

We’ve already begun work to remove this language from our website and future official materials, and appreciate your patience as this process continues.

We don’t have a new “official” nickname for JoCo Cruisers—in fact, we’re not certain it’s our place to assign one, nor to “bless” one of the several that have been in circulation since we began addressing this issue.

JoCo Cruise has changed and evolved in many ways over the years—including the very name of the event—and it will continue to do so. One thing that has remained consistent throughout is the thoughtfulness and enthusiasm of the JoCo Cruise community. Thank you for contributing to this spirit year after year.

Jonathan, Paul, Storm and Drew (The Management)

The above statement can also be found on our website; if there are any further updates regarding this issue, they will be posted on that page.
https://jococruise.com/community-nickname/

A person who has attended at least one JoCo Cruise
Background: Prior to the first cruise, a poll on the official website was used to determine how the Monarch should address her “subjects”. The winning term was Sea Monkey^(Δ)s, which has since the cruise become the default term to refer to anyone who went on JoCo Cruise Crazy.
First mention online - about October 2010

Folks who are responsible for organizing the cruise.

See Randall Monroe

Yes, it's real. Yes, it's delicious.

Inspired by the 2019 notable Super Bowl commercial from Hyundai, we asked the head chef to put together a Beetloaf dish. He rose to the occasion and then some.

It could be found on the ship's menu on Sunday evening, served atop whipped potatoes and pureed spinach and garnished with reconstituted dried Young mango.

Photo: Devin Mandelbaum

Photo: Kristin Amsden

Commercial viewable here: Jason Bateman stars in Hyundai's new Super Bowl ad

Hyundai also put out a beetloaf recipe, by way of apology for the commercial making fun of vegan food.

Holland America for JoCo Cruise Beetloaf Recipe PDF

Yes, technically a cruise vessel is a ship. Around these parts, we affectionately refer to her as Boat. Boat can refer to the ship itself or the experience of Boat.

Royal Caribbean’s cheese plate has also been known to be horrendous. While good cheese plates have been found first hand on various Royal Caribbean venues, the wild inconsistency and worst cases make the cheese plate a dangerous gamble. In response to this madness, Sea Monkey^(Δ)s have been known to host their own cheese parties throughout the week, which may or may not also include blackjack and hookers.

Started in 2019, Club SRO is designed for JoCo Cruise guests who don't need or want to attend the onboard main concerts (e.g., people who don't like crowds, nerd-adjacent spouses, sixteen-hour-a-day dungeon masters, etc.). The program is available to a limited number of guests on a first-come, first-served basis.

People who join Club SRO will not have guaranteed seating at the evening main concerts in the ship's Mainstage Theater, and instead have the following options:

• wait until five minutes after “morning announcements” have begun for a given main concert, at which point they may occupy any open seats, if available (JoCo Cruise staff will direct this process);
• watch the show via live simulcast in another designated public venue; or
• watch the main concert later on via the “JoCo TV” menu on your stateroom TV. (All JoCo Cruise main concerts are uploaded to the “JoCo TV menu the following day.)

In exchange, Club SRO members are offered benefits, such as onboard credit or beverage tickets. Those interested in signing up for Club SRO are typically directed to submit a form in advance. Completing the form DOES NOT guarantee membership in Club SRO; you will be contacted by the Home Office regarding your Club SRO status, and with additional information as applicable. Again, numbers are limited; first-come, first-served.

Complete info about Club SRO can be found at https://jococruise.com/faq.

2018: CruiseMonkey^(Δ) is an app that integrates Twit-arr, the JoCo Cruise online calendar, and has the complete list of songs for Sea Monkey^(Δ) Karaoke. It's free and is available in most platforms' app stores. (While it is not “official” (i.e., not generated by the Home Office), many folks have found these apps useful.))

CruiseMonkey App, includes official and unofficial calendars, search for locations, and view the deck plans.

See Deep Sea WiFi Temperance Brigade

On occasion the seas can get a little rough, rocking the entire cruise ship and making it difficult to walk in a straight line.

Additionally, many people take advantage of the cruise’s plethora of opportunities to become inebriated, causing some to wonder if the reason they are not steady on their feet is because of rough seas or due to the alcohol.

The object of the game “Drunk or Boat” is to determine which of these is true.

It all began during the JoCo Cruise “2021 Sail Away… NOT!!!” online event:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtM2NvwNYlg
Timestamp 54:42: Start of the Jackbox Quiplash game
Timestamp 58:43: Drew says “I made a typo on one of my answers, now it's really completely incoherent.”
Timestamp 1:46:46:

Later, Drew is asked for the definition of EGYPE (timestamp 12:38):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT-JVW5EFMA

Emoji artwork, provided by Beth Gordon:

Audio supercut of EGYPE, provided by Joey:

Elevator Affirmations/Love Notes were post-it notes with happy messages placed anonymously and later revealed to have been Juliana Finch in 2019.

Some examples:

See Fancy Pants Parade

The first 250 passengers who signed up for the cruise were to be granted priority seating at the nightly concerts and admission to a cocktail reception with the performers on the opening night. These privileges were likely meant to encourage fans to sign up quickly and ensure the cruise had enough enrollment to be profitable.

In practice, there were few enough fans beyond the initial 250 that the priority seating was abandoned, and a secondary reception was scheduled for anyone without an invite to the Crow's Nest.

June 17, 2011: UPDATE: The Management has made an executive decision: because of today's overwhelming response, we've decided that even though we've already passed the 250 berth mark, all berths in bookings made by 11:59 p.m. U.S. Eastern time today (Friday, June 17) will be included as Koko's Kittens. This includes those who selected “Special Payment Options” and didn't receive a confirmation e-mail; our records will confirm the day and time that you booked.

Thank you all again for your continued patience as we organize ourselves to respond to the several score special request e-mails we've received so far. Our Monkey^(Δ)s have been fitted with intravenous caffeine tubes for the task ahead.

A notice of a meeting of the Friends of Bill W. on your cruise ship daily schedule indicates an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

https://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=2971

Sagal: Here's the last question, in this round “What will be the cruise route of JoCo 10? Cruise route - where will it go?”
…
Wheaton: “It will also stop at Jamaica, so that we can give a lot of tips to people, to express our pleasure at being harassed by them, as we attempt to cross the street.
Hodgman: Yeah, fucking Jamaica
Phirman: … fucking Jamaica [gesture]
Hodgman: I'm glad I gave that island the middle finger as we floated away [gesture]
Phirman: If you haven't seen it, that's just painted on the back of the boat, by the way. So, whenever we leave, it's [gesture]
https://youtu.be/bX7RgCZNIBM?t=18m30s

Gavin Verhey's The Time I Fell Down a Volcano

“The Time I Fell Down a Volcano! | Good Morning Magic” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-Crg61gZEo

Also: #GavinWatch

If you are unfamiliar with what happened between Jonathan Coulton and Glee back in 2013, you can catch up on all the details here. You are allowed to like Glee. Just be aware that its mention is frequently met with a negative response.

JoCo Cruise is a big, big event. (Like, a whole cruise ship’s worth.) And one of the reasons it can properly function is the army of attendees who donate time on board to help monitor events, staff the Info Desk, sell artist merch at shows, and a ton of other tasks. We call these stalwart volunteers our Helper Monkey^(Δ)s. And you can be one too*!

*NOTE: we do not use first-time Sea Monkey^(Δ)s as Helper Monkey^(Δ)s. We appreciate first-timers’ willingness to help out, but it’s important to us that people on their first JoCo Cruise spend that time enjoying and familiarizing themselves with the event and the Sea Monkey^(Δ) community.

See also New Monkey^(Δ) Resident Associates (RA)

first reference in 2012 newsletter

See also Helper Monkey

There are all manner of small treasures to be found on the ship, some wondrous, some strange. Some of these hidden treasures are left by coordinated groups, such as the 3D-printed Pokémon that have been appearing more and more frequently in the last few years, and some are the work of individuals. These are most often left to be found, and either kept as souvenirs or re-hidden as a continuation of the fun.

Treasures Found include 3D-printed Pokémon, other 3D-printed creatures including octopus (sometimes with monkey heads), ducks, assorted plastic body parts, and plush Koroks from the Zelda video game series.

Photo: Devin Mandelbaum

Photo: Devin Mandelbaum

Photo: Yvonne L.

Hug Me Tags are a creation by Sea Monkey^(Δ) Jon Riley. Made of durable chainmail armor, Hug Me Tags were created as a means of identifying Sea Monkey^(Δ)s who are comfortable with being hugged as a default state. They are also rumored to protect you from arrows that are fired directly at the spot behind the relatively tiny tag. They are inexpensive and come in a variety of colors.

A playlist of JoCoBot videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ-l6mr1dW0gY3fM-V0n8tI9mjsxBYM9R

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joUNjodpOOE

“Hi!” Die Table Tents (2022):
PDF

Friendly Fez Table Tent PDF, Google Drive

Announced on January 31, 2019, JoCo Cruise now has it's own tartan, in partnership with Off Kilter Kilts.

From https://www.offkilterkilts.com/joco-cruise-tartan:

“The JoCo Cruise tartan—”The Kraken”—is mighty like the sea, and features the JoCo Cruise colors woven in a pattern based on the Fibonacci sequence. Because of course it is. Bonus: it kinda looks like a hash tag.

We’ve released The Kraken, but it can only rise with your help: we'll need an order of around 100 kilts to cover the initial production costs. (Weaning a Kraken requires many bolts of Fibonacci-patterned tartan, and an unbelievable amount of krill.)

Not so much interested in a kilt? We literally have you covered! We offer a boatload of other clothing and accessory goodies featuring The Kraken tartan, and ordering any of them will help us cover our minimum weaving run.

The JoCo Cruise “Kraken” tartan will be a poly-rayon blend specially made to ensure a comfortable wearing kilt and that is machine washable (though we recommend hanging it to dry!).”

Sea Monkey^(Δ)s immediately analyzed the fibonacci sequence with illustrations:

From Hadden Hoppert: Link to source
“Here's a pic with the sequence on it (vertically). Note there's a single white thread in the middle to make the first 1. (and I actually did check the pixel sizes and they look pretty damn spot on)”

Link to source
“The cross of the bright white lines is 0,0. The pattern goes out (horizontal and vertical) from there. Did you see the image I posted above? (with the width numbers on it) I made it better with red lines for the vertical sequence and yellow lines for the horizontal… (attached here)”

On March 30, 2019, officially pre-sold enough kilts and other items to meet the minimum run requirements.

This concept was originally put into practice in 2014. A year later, Jim Boggia explicitly called attention to the fact that any lyric, background vocal, or instrumental part of any song is more entertaining when replaced with the syllable ‘meow’. Some would argue that The Doubleclicks are responsible for this practice with the use of their cat keyboard. You’re welcome to believe either side of the debate.

Morning Announcements may be made at any time of day. They may be done over the ship's PA system or from onstage prior to Main Stage events.

Before each Vista Show Lounge (main theater) event, we’ll make brief announcements about any Official Schedule changes, additions, or other bits of data that will be useful for planning your days. And to the degree we’re able, we’ll also mention Sea Monkey^(Δ)-organized events. (2012 newsletter)

The Midnight label is used to refer to on board services that are available 24 hours a day, which make for great Sea Monkey^(Δ) gathering spots during late night hours. In previous years, this has specifically referred to free cookies and free pizza that has been available on Royal Caribbean ships. These two factions have been known to be in conflict with each other over which free service is superior. The uncomfortable truth is that any free food available to thousands of people at all hours of the day is not of any notable quality.

Other Midnight gatherings have included Midnight Hot Tub and Midnight Mini Golf. The transition to the whole boat format may introduce many other activities under the Midnight label.

Every day is Mike Phirman's birthday. Rumor has it that his actual birthday may have fallen at some point during the first cruise, but that is currently irrelevant.

This title entails special seating at every concert, a royal regalia (the contents of which were undetermined prior to the cruise), and official declaration that the rest of the attendees had to treat the Monarch as royalty whenever they wore the official regalia. For 2011, this was a benefit to entering the 250 Club.

The 2011 winner of this draw was Aileen, who later wrote a blog post about the experience.

2017 brought the introduction of a whole boat and two groups of shows. What was formerly known as the Monarch of the Seas will now be known as Red Leader and Gold Leader, a similar representative of their respective groups.

If this sounds like an experience that you would rather not win, you may opt out of the drawing.

Thanks to efforts from Mystery Brewing Company, JoCo themed beers have been served at the open bar events and cash bars between 2014 and 2017.

JoCo Cruise Crazy to JoCo Cruise

Originally, the cruise was named “JoCo Cruise Crazy” or “JCCC” in reference to the Jonathan Coulton song “Tom Cruise Crazy”.

This changed in 2014:

FINALLY, A NOTE RE: OUR NAME

Some of you may notice that the new merchandise is labeled “JoCo Cruise” and “JoCo Cruise 2015” and that there's no “Crazy” there. This is because we are officially altering the name, mostly to reflect what most people call it anyway. (The official changeover won't occur until we roll out our new and improved website, which is happening Soon™.)

But please rest assured: the JoCo Cruise will still have the same wonderful people and fun and inclusive atmosphere and community, and will still be way awesome. And of course it will continue to clock in at the optimal amount of crazy. Reference

In 2018, this was “New Monkey^(Δ) Resident Associate”. The name changed to “New Monkey^(Δ) Ambassador” in 2019.

2019: Name updated to “New Monkey^(Δ) Ambassador”

2018: As noted in last week's email, a number of our experienced volunteers will be serving as “New Monkey^(Δ) RAs” during the week. The New Monkey^(Δ) RAs will be wearing pink sashes throughout the week; even when not “officially” working at events as Helper Monkey^(Δ)s, they are still happy to answer any questions you may have, and generally are there to help. Keep an eye out for them, and say “hi!”

Food is a pretty big part of any cruise experience. Tragically, we don't always have access to useful tools like Yelp to assist us in these experiences. Fear not, for the Sea Monkey^(Δ) community is a clever community. Paper Yelp is one such clever idea of the clever community, driven by Sea Monkey^(Δ) Jill Shaul. In past years, paper forms have been available for the purpose of reviewing cruise food, which were then posted to the game room wall for other Sea Monkey^(Δ)s to view and help make food based decisions. Paper Yelp examples from previous years can be found here.

See Paul F. Tompkins Memorial Moustache Formal and Fezstravaganza

Holland America adjusts their ships’ clocks when the ship travels across time zones. In 2012, it was frequently announced by Paul that clocks would be set forward an hour on one particular night. This turned out to be false, and an hour of sleep was lost by many a Sea Monkey^(Δ). Paul will try to point fingers at other members of The Home Office, but we all know who is really to blame. Always trust the captain over Paul when it comes to time adjustments.

A running gag on JoCo Cruise is the school setting, with Sea Monkey^(Δ)s as the students and various official performers as the faculty. The only thing you really need to take away from this is that when Paul says “Good morning class”, the appropriate response is “Good morning Principal Sabourin” in an adequately cheesy manner.

Reference is “about 42 minutes in”, or “origination is at ~43:50 and ~46:50 ”: https://youtu.be/V8K44-IVfcY

A song about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeTuQlc2uU

Designated area(s) of the ship where there is no gaming, no meetings, and no loud noises.

These areas are places where cruisers can get away from the sometimes frenetic cruise energy, as space where you can sit quietly with other people also sitting quietly.

2018: As in previous years, each team will be randomly assigned a leader. Red Leader and Gold Leader will each receive an appropriate “crown,” front row seats to the Main Concerts for them and their “wingpersons,” and the praise and approbation of their fellow Sea Monkey^(Δ)s.

If you prefer to opt out of the Red Leader/Gold Leader random drawing pool, just fill out the Red Leader/Gold Leader Opt-out Form (You'll need to be logged in to your JCC User Account.)

And to be clear: these “teams” are not rivals. Rather, just like in the original Star Wars, they are allies working together towards a common goal: creating the best JoCo Cruise ever. (And destroying any Death Stars we might encounter.)

See also Monarch of the Seas.

The key lime pie on Holland America (as of 2012) was horrendous. Key lime pie enthusiasts were disappointed by this and referred to the dessert as Sadness Pie.

So this happened. And now various happenings among Sea Monkey^(Δ)s can be described as a sex party. Any gathering of Sea Monkey^(Δ)s on Deck 6 has also come to be known as a Six Party.

… every year, we (THO) set aside a ton of space and time in the schedule for the passengers (i.e., the Sea Monkey^(Δ)s, i.e. you folks) to organize and present their own events. Video gaming sessions, meetups to show off tattoos, book clubs, Zumba classes, song circles and jam sessions, mini-concerts…you name it. If it's doable on the ship (and it keeps to our Code of Conduct (https://jococruise.com/faq-2018/#the-joco-cruise-code-of-conduct) ), we welcome it!

If you're interested in putting together a Shadow Cruise event, fill out our Shadow Cruise Event Request Form.

NOTE: unless specifically requested, Shadow Cruise events will never be scheduled during Main Concerts or while the ship is in any port of call.

See also Shadow Cruise

During the 2015 dance party, DJ David Rees played Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off a total of 12 times. It’s the kind of experience that you cannot forget even if you wanted to. This was ultimately followed by an on stage performance.

ShutterMonkey^(Δ)s are a voluntary group of Sea Monkey^(Δ)s who are charged with the task of photographing the cruise experience. These photos are then used for purposes such as the official JoCo Cruise Photobook. ShutterMonkey^(Δ)s are organized by Sea Monkey^(Δ) Steve Petrucelli, who is commonly known as BatSteve. Keep an eye on Steve’s social media if you’re interested in volunteering to be a ShutterMonkey^(Δ).

A Sea Monkey^(Δ) that is not a first-timer (first referenced in 2012 newsletter).

This one throws back to 2012. During the performer Q&A, John Roderick shared the story of his gold mining job in Alaska. This was later followed up with a pleasantly unexpected twist on the JoCo classic First of May. More commonplace, Outdoor Hugging has also been used to replace the line in question.

In the past, Sea Monkey^(Δ)s have not taken up the entirety of the cruise ship. Any non-Sea Monkey^(Δ) on the ship was referred to as a Snork. Snork is purely a term of identification, and does not have any derogatory nor positive connotations by itself. Some Snorks have loved us, some Snorks have hated us, but when we share these stories, we will know how to refer to them.

Starting in 2017, when we transitioned into the whole ship format, there are no longer Snorks! Since Sea Monkey^(Δ)s now occupy the entire ship, this term only has use for stories of the past.

We love Home Office, but punctuality just isn't always among their best points. So when we talk about when things are going to happen, the time frame is often described as Soon™, usually meaning sometime in the future but most likely not actually “soon”.

On Royal Caribbean ships, Sorrento’s was the name of the 24 hour pizza establishment. The quality of readily available pizza was, let’s say, questionable. In 2016, it became a running gag to turn this into an amusing slogan, surrounded by the name of the establishment.

Sorrento’s. When you have literally no other choice. Sorrento’s.

It has been pointed out that younger children tend to congregate and play towards the back of the standing room concerts. This area of the crowd, rather than a mosh pit, has been designated as the toddler pit.

Towel Monkeys

See Twit-arr

Twit-arr is an onboard server that works over the ship's wi-fi (without requiring an actual Internet connection) for onboard social media communication; you can connect to it using any device with a web browser. You'll receive a handout with complete Twit-Arr instructions on Day 1. (While it is not “official” (i.e., not generated by the Home Office), many folks have found these apps useful.))

A Wang Wang is a ridiculously alcoholic drink that is popular on Holland America cruises. Some have described it as a tropical version of a Long Island Iced Tea. Sea Monkey^(Δ)s took a liking to it, so we make efforts to keep the tradition alive, especially as we make the return to a Holland America ship.

This is said to be the drink:
1/4 oz Vodka 
1/4 oz Gin 
1/4 oz White Rum 
1/4 oz Scotch 
1/4 oz Bourbon 
1/4 oz Tequila 
1/4 oz Triple Sec 
1/4 oz Brandy  

Top it off with Pineapple and Orange Juice. Add a splash of Grenadine.

From the Holland America Blog:
https://www.hollandamerica.com/blog/topics/food-beverage/cheers-to-facebook-fans-top-5-holland-america-line-cocktails/

See also the WangWatican Church

Royal Caribbean’s dining crew in 2014 was particularly enthusiastic about opening dinner with a serving of warm bread. We quickly decided that if they could nerd out over warm bread, then we could nerd out over it too. The ceremony has since been discontinued.

See Beverages

A Shadow Cruise event started by Cruise Mom Thera Heller set most nights at 11 P.M. ship time.

From the first Sched entry, Saturday, March 9, 2019:

“ What a great time to air some grievances. If you have any land stress that you've carried with you onto the ship we can scream it into the void, or directly at the moon. However the spirit moves you is how you should holler. (We'll meet at the Sea View Bar and then head up to the Observation Deck.)”